Back to work | rachmiel's Blog

I've never written in a blog before, sorry if my thoughts seem disjointed. Tomorrow I start back to work, after missing a week due to flu, then bronchitis. It's so funny, I think it was the universe asking me to slow down. I have made so many changes in my life recently, the biggest being I moved out and separated from my husband almost a month ago. I will refer to him as my STBX, as I do not feel connected to him as my husband anymore. My co-workers were concerned, even my boss was not angry with me when I called in, they just wanted me to feel better. Odd, how since I moved out and left my husband, people have checked on me, been nicer to me, been more understanding. I've been told how well I look(excluding flu week). Maybe it's just coincidence, but I'll take it. I have started to let people help me, if they offer. It's so nice. I see an attorney on Tuesday. My STBX did not want me to move out, but I know it was the right thing for me. I wish we were already divorced. I wish we had never gotten married. I wish I would have seen all the red flags as red flags, I wish I hadn't changed my self trying to make the relationship work. I wish I had stopped drinking earlier.I still have a few things left back at the house, but that's it. I know it's over. I wish he could let me go, agree to the dissolution and be done. I wish he would find someone he's more compatible with. I thought he would change, ha! Famous last thoughts. He changed, after I said I wanted a separation, I was already disconnected. I was accused of not trying, but I guess the five years of marriage don't count as trying.